Listen, guys - there's still time to turn this around. Who needs 250,000 fellow sunburned festival-goers to have a good time? If ever there was a moment to throw yourself one hell of a party, this is it. All you need is a little outdoor space or enough vision to get creative indoors and you have a festival, minus the mud and manky toilets. And the best part? Everyone gets tickets - provided they live in your house or are part of your social bubble.

First things first

It wouldn't be much of a festival without a banging line-up. Maybe you've already got the decks, instruments and skills needed to put on a few sets, in which case BRILLIANT, but if not, it's time to think carefully about what you're going to dance to. Put together your YouTube playlists of classic sets from your favourite artists and hook your TV up to the speakers.

Festivals aren't all about the music; schedule in workshops, activities, dance-offs - even a parade if the mood takes you. If you want to go really extra, why not design your own lanyards? Add posters, flags, bunting, signage, whatever you want - when it comes to festivals, more is more.

Rough it like an A-lister

Boutique camping options at top festivals can cost up to an eye-watering £25,0000 (if you're an incredibly rich celeb, that is). But you're not at a top festival now (again, sorry). Get bouji with some rugs, cushions, fairy lights and deck chairs - hell, you can even place luxury toiletries and candles around for the full A-list treatment. If you feel like treating your squad you can even invest in a bell tent - that way it's there next time you need it for an actual festival.

Dress to make a mess

Sequins, fancy-dress costumes, silly hats and full make-up are a must, no exceptions. Wellies make the whole thing feel more authentic, and are even more enjoyable when your mate doesn't have to spend twenty minutes yanking them off for you. Remember, glitter makes you fitter...

Eat, drink and be silly

The food and drink is one of the best parts of a festival (apart from the prices, ouch), so gather ingredients for the best BBQ, street food and cocktails you can think of - now is not the time to be counting calories. We're talking artisan sourdough, loaded mac and cheese, lobster rolls, bang bang cauliflower, passionfruit martinis and all your other favourite things.

DIY healing fields

Start the morning after with a trip to your very own healing fields for a goodness-packed green smoothie, restorative yoga and some soothing chilled beats.

Don't forget the kids tent…

And not just if you have kids. Bubbles, hula hoops and musical chairs are great at any age.

And there you have it. All the best bits of Worthy Farm at a fraction of cost.

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